Addressing New Daddy Fears

Published: 16th December 2010
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Great Ideas for Addressing New Daddy Fears

When you and your husband want to start a new family it can be both a very exciting time and a very scary time at the same time. There are many considerations to make before bringing a baby into your home and you need to make sure that you and your spouse are ready for this life changing event. While most women can easily jump into the role of motherhood with little trouble, dads do not always feel this way. Many men feel incompetent, scared and even like they are of no use when the baby arrives. There are ways to help your better half deal with the demands of being a new dad. Here is a look at common concerns that men have when expecting a baby and what you can do to help ease his fears.

Your husband feels that he does not know anything about babies: This is a common concern for many men. Women often grow up helping with siblings or earning extra money by babysitting. Men usually do not. Your husband may feel that he is not ready to become a dad because he does not know enough about babies. This is when you need to ease his fears and help him learn more about being daddy. You also need to make sure that he understands that being a parent is mostly like having on-the-job training and he does not need to be an expert to be an excellent dad. Have him attend parenting and child birth classes with you and this will help him feel that he is better prepared.


Your husband worries about providing for the new family: This is also a very common concern that most men have when it comes to starting a new family. Children are expensive and you need to think about this. Men especially worry if they are the so-called bread-winners of the family. They wonder if they will make enough money to care for the family and they may even worry about getting health benefits if that is something he has not had before. While it is true that having a baby is expensive, you can help ease his fears by coming up with a household budget and working hard to stick to it. You can also start saving a little money before the baby arrives.

Your husband worries about not being able to bond with the baby: Men often think that they are inadequate when it comes to baby bonding. This might be because you are breastfeeding and he thinks he cannot help with feeding. It might be because he works long hours and doesn't spend a lot of time with the baby. You can help him get to know the baby better by finding little things he can do to help, such as burping the baby during feeding or helping you out in the middle of the night. Encourage him to take some responsibility by taking the baby with him on errands. Never make your husband feel that he is only the "sitter". He is a parent, just like you, and he needs time with the baby on his own terms. This will help his fears that he is not bonding or doing things the right way.


Most likely, your spouse wants to help do what is necessary to help with the baby. Your husband has a lot to offer when it comes to caring for the new baby, you just need to make sure that you give him some space so he can parent without feeling like it is a job. With a little patience and preparation, your spouse will make a terrific dad in no time flat.

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